I wannas sexs uuuuu
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
