Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
