Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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