If that was your dad, he is hot
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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