You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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