obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
