Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
