theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
