Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
