it was like eating out sand paper
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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