idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
