I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize