Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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