dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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