allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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