Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
