I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize