How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
someone owes me an orgasm
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
