Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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