like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
