he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
