i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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