Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
