there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
