Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
