Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
