And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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