All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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