You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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