you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
