So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
