Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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