I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
