Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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