I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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