Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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