you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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