Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize
