im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
