Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
