I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
