I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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