Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
