People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
someone owes me an orgasm
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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