Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
