Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
