i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
