Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No I am not eating basil off your cock
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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