If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
