so that wasnt chicken after all
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
