she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
PANTIES FOUND
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