I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
